Reason #2,299: Where do these things come from?

This is not normal. Just a bunch of junk, walking around, doing…what? You can’t keep something like this around, people. You’re not going to use it as, say, a school crossing guard. Some kid’s gonna get impaled with all the random sharp things poking out. And the rust? Make sure you have your tetanus shots, if you’re out in the woods of Eldraine.

Seriously, what the crud? The things you didn’t know you needed to worry about.