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Reason #6,270: Goblin social reform

Goblins tend to be highly destructive creatures with a strong disregard for health and personal safety. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Lost cause, Dave. That’s just the way they are, and you’re not going to change that.” In which case, I think I’ll stick to my current plane, which is not inhabited by goblins, thank you.

But hear me out. As a counter argument, I offer the example of Terry Pratchett’s “Discworld” universe. In Ankh-Morpork, goblins are employed to run the clacks, a system of signal towers used for regional messaging and communication. This provides a valuable service for society and does not involve burning or breaking things or highly risky/dangerous activities that may result in harm to oneself or others. My point is, goblins can be productive members of society. And while Ankh-Morpork has questionable safety standards, I think I can reasonably argue that employing goblins in the clacks system is a big step up from using them as siege ordnance.

That said, I will admit: the fact that goblins, like Zaz here, seem to very much enjoy and support the goblin cultural status-quo would be a significant obstacle to overcome. Oof.

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