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Reason #3,722: Everyone wants to be the pirate.

How many people do you know who’d say they want to be the ‘soggy rat’ in this relationship? That’s the problem though: the deadeye rig-hauler doesn’t care what you want to be. And if I’m being honest, I’m just not that tough. I’d probably end up the soggy rat. Which is one reason I’m not going anywhere near Ixalan.

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