Monstrous, corrosive, slug horrors. Never asked for those either. Of course, Innistrad doesn’t mind that we never asked. It’s gonna give it to us anyway. How generous.
Author Archives: davidlferrell
Reason #4,795: Inside-out
Not that I’d put it beyond the MTG Multiverse to poop out some living nightmare like this, but after thinking about this one, part of me thinks someone just glued a bunch of teeth to a fiberglass frame. (As we well know, the MTG Multiverse isn’t lacking in sources of such teeth.) I mean, where …
Reason #4,995: No, you don’t need more teeth.
Why couldn’t you collect something normal, like stamps or vintage cars? Actually, I think I know a guy you might like to meet.
Reason #7,088: Have you ever heard of soil depletion?
The ecological consequences of poor agricultural practices can be pretty far reaching. Maybe this would explain the bad weather? That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, Ravnica. You’re still dumb.
Reason #775: I like my face.
I mean, I get it. I’m probably being narrow minded. Or something. There are any number of reasons why I might be the problem here. But…we have a giant man-thing made of paper birds(?) floating upside-down. It has no face. Water is coming out of the hole in its head, flowing through the roof of …
Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.
Here’s a hint: there are three rats. Do you see it? Yes, the combination of animation with an advanced state of decay is unnatural, but they all exhibit this characteristic. It’s the eyes. The rat on the right has more eyes than the other two rats. Why do you have four-eyed rats, MTG Multiverse? You’re …
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Reason #8,113: Nobody wants to get thrown out a window.
That said, the MTG Multiverse does not have a monopoly on defenestration. And I have long been an admirer of the word. So, MTG Multiverse. This is still terrible, and you’re still terrible, but I will give you a point for this one. My World: 8,112 MTG Multiverse: 1
Reason #8,112: What is even going on here?
Based on the quote, this sounds like a lesser-of-two-evils thing, so I think we can all agree that whatever is going on, it’s bad. And it looks like that whole disintegration thing, which we have seen to be bad. Not that that explains much. This card is missing a lot of context. I can give …
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Reason #1,042: Eyes also don’t belong there.
MTG Multiverse, it seems like either you learned nothing from our previous conversation or you’re just doing this out of spite. Whatever the case, I’m unimpressed.
Reason #6,690: The wise words of Beltstad
NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE again.