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Reason #3,324: Meanwhile, back in Kaldheim…

What did we have going? Trolls. Arni and his dumb head waking up the trolls. And making them angry. Giants. Frost giants. Fire giants. Giants fighting giants. Planeswalking Robert Frost. Doomskars. Bretagard getting torn apart and invaded by demons. **deep breath** Vorinclex. Demons just destroying everything. They don’t even care. More giants. Giants who want …

Reason #3,319: Here comes Thor.

Oops, I meant Toralf, God of Thun–Fury. Fury. Obviously. Wouldn’t be a party without a god to fight our world–er cosmos serpent–to the death. Cosmos serpent. Yup. Hey, buddy. Spoiler alert, but you’re probably gonna die. Did I mention these gods can die? Ugh. Puny gods.

Reason #3,318: I think you have some competition, Sarulf.

Or you might have to share anyhow. Koma is obviously Kaldheim’s analog to the Norse Jormungandr, the World Serpent. According to Norse mythology, Jormungandr kicks off Ragnarok when he releases his tail, thrashes his way on to land, and covers half the world in his venom. I’ve no doubt that the MTG Multiverse would let …

Reason #3,317: The end is near?

Oh, hey there. So you’re the Realm Eater? Is that some sort of world-ending, apocalyps monster? If you’re going to eat the world, do you think you could make sure to get Vorinclex while your at it? I mean, he is part of this world, at this moment. Just watch out for that Phyrexian oil; …

Reason #3,313: But was it worth it?

A river of fire, you say? I wonder what would happen if I introduced this guy to Vorinclex. Maybe we could get them into that giant hole in the ground together. Hmmmmm…

Reason #3,312: NOT NOW, VORINCLEX.

Get in line, buddy! We’ve got enough junk going on here on Kaldheim, already! I do not have time for your Phyrexian nonsense right now. Good grief, we still haven’t even dealt with the trolls yet. Hey, Arni! Do you know where I can find a Phyrexian-to-English dictionary around here?