The chill wind extinguishes flame, frosts the leaf on the branch, and apparently throws cows up into the air. Keep your kids indoors. Keep yourself indoors. Or maybe try living underground.
Author Archives: davidlferrell
Reason #63: Mega…flora
Based on the testimony of Vervamon the Elder, I’m gonna assume this thing eats people. This is Dominaria.
Reason #4,229: Phasing
When I played MTG as a kid, I had a thing for Sandbar Crocodile. I was (and still am) a sucker for big monsters, and the idea of the phasing mechanic–having creatures periodically appear and disappear–seemed cool conceptually. I didn’t realize then how bad it was to only be able to use your cards half …
Reason #957: More knives?
I don’t know what this thing is or what it’s doing with those knives, but I’m betting it isn’t safe. Stop it.
Reason #1,375: Wall of Blood
NOPE.
Reason #1,374: Souls. Lots of souls
This Starke character seems to have just punted on the bones all together. I’m a little fuzzy on my Tempest lore (and a little too lazy to go looking it up), but I think Starke was a traitor himself. To Gerrard? Whatever happened to building walls out of normal stuff like brick or stone or …
Reason #1,373: Where did they get all those corpses? Ew…
Oh man. I mean, I know people resort to pretty brutal things in times of war, and that in itself is horrible enough. But this is gross and probably unsanitary. And this Kaervek sounds like he did this on purpose. And if we’re being sticklers here, I definitely see some wood in that wall too. …
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Reason #1,372: That’s a lot of bones
Another card with an extensive history in Magic, Wall of Bone has ten different printings. And looking at this wall, I gotta ask, “Where did they get all those bones?” Grave robbing? Some of those bones look huge. Whose grave did they rob? I don’t know about this idea, guys. Here’s another version of the …
Reason #1,371: That’s a lot of swords
This card has appeared in twelve different MTG sets, so I think it’s safe to say that sword walls aren’t just one-offs in the MTG Multiverse. Aside from the fact that these aren’t exactly rarities, I think their existence raises a rather obvious and disturbing question, namely: Why exactly did the builders of the Wall …
Reason #747: Wait, THAT’S where those knives come from?
So, I really would not want to run into this guy in a dark alley. Or in the middle of the street. Or really anywhere. That’s a whole lot of sharp stuff with wings, and just a hunch, but I doubt he’s just looking for a hug. But guys. This is where the Rakdos get …
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10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 