Reason #707: Put that back!

I know we’re not dealing with bones here, but I feel like adding a verse to the song Dem Bones might be instructive.

The brain here belongs inside of the skull,/ The skull it originally came from./ And leave it alone cause it belongs there./ You should not take it out./

Reason #1,078: Conflicting Interests

Clearly this fellow does not want to be in this room, and those bars give me a strong inkling the someone else doesn’t want him getting out. Is Innistrad known for being good at mediating conflicts or something? My gut says this is going to end with someone being very unhappy.

Reason #5,101: Let’s make jewelry out of mercury.

So am I jumping to conclusions? A little.

Is that something MTGMultiverse denizens would do? Highly likely.

Would I trust any jewelry-makers from Phyrexia? Absolutely not.

Reason #3,324: Meanwhile, back in Kaldheim…

What did we have going? Trolls. Arni and his dumb head waking up the trolls. And making them angry. Giants. Frost giants. Fire giants. Giants fighting giants. Planeswalking Robert Frost. Doomskars. Bretagard getting torn apart and invaded by demons.

**deep breath**

Vorinclex. Demons just destroying everything. They don’t even care. More giants. Giants who want to burn down the World Tree. VAMPIRE DRAGONS. Giant world-eating wolves. Giant world–er–cosmos serpents (talk about those Freudian slips). Gods who can keep themselves from dying.

And now we have a kraken. What kind of world is this where a kraken showing up seems like a deescalation? Cheese and crackers.

Are we missing anybody? Man, we’re setting up for a real battle royale here. Just need to find ourselves a flaming cage.

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