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Reason #4,795: Inside-out

Not that I’d put it beyond the MTG Multiverse to poop out some living nightmare like this, but after thinking about this one, part of me thinks someone just glued a bunch of teeth to a fiberglass frame. (As we well know, the MTG Multiverse isn’t lacking in sources of such teeth.) I mean, where did it come from? Phyrexians usually convert living, organic creatures into their horrific constructs. So what was this thing before the Phyrexians got their hands on it? Where’s it’s head?

Don’t get me wrong, I hear you, Melira. Yes, it’s creepy. No, I haven’t seen it eat, and I’ve no doubt it’s a horrific sight beyond my imagination. The horror isn’t the point. This thing just looks impractical. They’d have to a have taken a giant bird and turned it inside-out. If I turned a bird inside out, it wouldn’t fly anymore.

Clearly they know something I don’t. #achievements, I guess?

No one asked for this. Good grief.

Reason #7,088: Have you ever heard of soil depletion?

The ecological consequences of poor agricultural practices can be pretty far reaching. Maybe this would explain the bad weather?

That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, Ravnica. You’re still dumb.

Reason #775: I like my face.

I mean, I get it. I’m probably being narrow minded. Or something. There are any number of reasons why I might be the problem here.

But…we have a giant man-thing made of paper birds(?) floating upside-down. It has no face. Water is coming out of the hole in its head, flowing through the roof of a floating house, and pouring out the door. I certainly get the curiosity bit; if you’re looking to get people’s attention, Mr./Ms./Mx. Go-Shintai, then I’d say you nailed it. But enlightenment?

I dunno. Feels like a scam. I just see myself going into the house and asking the shrine to enlighten me, and it says I don’t have enough heads, and then it graces me with more heads. Or maybe I have too many heads. Or too many faces. Probably too many faces.

Thanks, but I think I like my face where it is.

Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.

Here’s a hint: there are three rats. Do you see it? Yes, the combination of animation with an advanced state of decay is unnatural, but they all exhibit this characteristic.

It’s the eyes. The rat on the right has more eyes than the other two rats. Why do you have four-eyed rats, MTG Multiverse? You’re behaving very sus right now.

Reason #8,113: Nobody wants to get thrown out a window.

That said, the MTG Multiverse does not have a monopoly on defenestration. And I have long been an admirer of the word. So, MTG Multiverse. This is still terrible, and you’re still terrible, but I will give you a point for this one.

My World: 8,112

MTG Multiverse: 1

Reason #8,112: What is even going on here?

Based on the quote, this sounds like a lesser-of-two-evils thing, so I think we can all agree that whatever is going on, it’s bad. And it looks like that whole disintegration thing, which we have seen to be bad. Not that that explains much. This card is missing a lot of context.

I can give it some context though. I’ve never seen or heard of anything remotely like this happening in our world though.

Our World: 8,112

MTG Multiverse: 0