Lots of spikes? Always in a foul mood? I’d say that’d make the list.
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Reason #6,919: Guess what!
If you guessed cannibalism, you win! What’s your prize? Cannibalism.
Reason #8,894: The Rakdos cult is full of evil, evil people.
I suppose one could debate what a rusalka is, and that could change how one interprets this situation. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re closer to the malevolent, nature spirits of Slavic folklore. Looking at the flavor text on the rest of the cards in the rusalka cycle from the Guildpack expansion, it seems to me …
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Reason #88: Things you can do with children
So you summoned the gingerbread twins, cause you thought that would be a good idea. They gave you some stolen food. While you were doing that, an enemy wizard summoned this goon. And now this goon is trying to murder you. You checked your health; that thing gets its mitts on you and your day …
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Reason #87: Children
So, in MTG you’re a wizard, right? You summon creatures to fight battles on your behalf. Well, these goobers are among the thousands of creatures at your beck and call. That’s right. You’re using child soldiers now. Also, that food token they brought along with them was stolen. You know the fairy tales; you know …
Reason #3,342: They tried to talk it out.
Well, maybe some of them did at least. It didn’t work. There was collateral damage. I wonder when exactly the people of Yotia realized that the MTG Multiverse was a terrible place to live.
Reason #891: Bad Dreams
Just Phyrexia dropping in to say hello.
Reason #3,341: This card…
Let’s do it for…this guy. Man. Playing against this card is not a fun experience for me. Maybe adrift in time and space is a good place for Teferi to be. I’m sorry. Those were my feelings talking. I’m fine. To its credit, this card never got banned. It probably wouldn’t even make a top …
Reason #3,340: “Adrift in the currents of time” doesn’t sound good.
The MTG Multiverse always has some cataclysmic crisis that needs averting. So when I say, “What were you thinking getting adrift in the currents of time?” Teferi will answer, “It was the only way to stop the [insert crisis here].” I get it. Let me throw out an idea here. Maybe we’re being a little …
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Reason #3,339: Snow and Sorrow
The MTG Multiverse sure does seem to like hitting the reset button.
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 