Uncategorized – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #775: I like my face.

I mean, I get it. I’m probably being narrow minded. Or something. There are any number of reasons why I might be the problem here. But…we have a giant man-thing made of paper birds(?) floating upside-down. It has no face. Water is coming out of the hole in its head, flowing through the roof of …

Continue reading “Reason #775: I like my face.”

Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.

Here’s a hint: there are three rats. Do you see it? Yes, the combination of animation with an advanced state of decay is unnatural, but they all exhibit this characteristic. It’s the eyes. The rat on the right has more eyes than the other two rats. Why do you have four-eyed rats, MTG Multiverse? You’re …

Continue reading “Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.”

Reason #8,113: Nobody wants to get thrown out a window.

That said, the MTG Multiverse does not have a monopoly on defenestration. And I have long been an admirer of the word. So, MTG Multiverse. This is still terrible, and you’re still terrible, but I will give you a point for this one. My World: 8,112 MTG Multiverse: 1

Reason #8,112: What is even going on here?

Based on the quote, this sounds like a lesser-of-two-evils thing, so I think we can all agree that whatever is going on, it’s bad. And it looks like that whole disintegration thing, which we have seen to be bad. Not that that explains much. This card is missing a lot of context. I can give …

Continue reading “Reason #8,112: What is even going on here?”

Reason #1,042: Eyes also don’t belong there.

MTG Multiverse, it seems like either you learned nothing from our previous conversation or you’re just doing this out of spite. Whatever the case, I’m unimpressed.

Reason #6,690: The wise words of Beltstad

NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE again.

Reason #5102: Hidetsugu, who Stays on Brand

So, check this out. I pulled this from an article by Jim Davis about the previews for the Kamigawa Neon Dynasty expansion. And here’s the first comment at the bottom: I’ll leave you to your own conclusions.

Reason #6,122: A bad choice of headwear

I was about to write about goblin social serves again, but I think I’m just gonna ‘NOPE’ this one instead.

Reason #707: Put that back!

I know we’re not dealing with bones here, but I feel like adding a verse to the song Dem Bones might be instructive. The brain here belongs inside of the skull,/ The skull it originally came from./ And leave it alone cause it belongs there./ You should not take it out./

Reason #1,078: Conflicting Interests

Clearly this fellow does not want to be in this room, and those bars give me a strong inkling the someone else doesn’t want him getting out. Is Innistrad known for being good at mediating conflicts or something? My gut says this is going to end with someone being very unhappy.