That goat, I bet he wishes he lived on a different plane. Or he would if he could. But he can’t. He’s dead.
Tag Archives: blood
Reason #8,925: This is not sustainable.
Where do they get all that blood? They’re putting these shows on every night, right? You’re going to run out of people to kill eventually. Maybe they reuse the blood. That’s gross.
Reason #5,003: A novel idea
I know this is going to sound crazy, but what if we stopped summoning demons and making blood offerings to them? Maybe if we did that, they would stop torturing and murdering us. At least then we wouldn’t have our own stupidity to blame when bad things like this happened.
Reason #8,072: At least it’s not made of souls
Or blood or organs or whatever. Still dangerous though. Still not something I want any part of.
Reason #873: Did you catch all that?
Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …
Reason #867: Did I mention that the river turned to blood?
Cause yeah, the river turned to blood. Why not? We have locusts. The gods are murdering each other. What else you got, Amonkhet?
Reason #859: Where are you taking that blood?
You’re giving that blood to Bontu? Why would you give that blood to Bontu? What the crud? Surely, Bontu will not accept such a terrible offering. You murdered your crop-mate to get that blood! Guess what, folks. Bontu accepted the blood.
Reason #4,377: Dragons are dangerous
And apparently their blood is too. I want nothing to do with this thing.
Reason #8,231: Is this really a leech?
I’m no biologist, but that does not look like the mouth of a creature that merely wants to suck your blood. It looks more like the pierce your flesh/slice you up/swallow you down variety. It is admittedly hard to get a good sense of scale just from the picture, so maybe it’s very small. Based …
Reason #8,226: This one’s certainly big enough.
Just based on the scale there. People-sized houses up to its knees. Not sure how well the leech would do trying to suck blood out of it. And in any case, it’s the wrong plane; this fellow is from Theros, so I guess we’ll have to continue the search for the sake of our leech …
Continue reading “Reason #8,226: This one’s certainly big enough.”
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 