Reason #5,003: A novel idea

I know this is going to sound crazy, but what if we stopped summoning demons and making blood offerings to them? Maybe if we did that, they would stop torturing and murdering us. At least then we wouldn’t have our own stupidity to blame when bad things like this happened.

Reason #6,559: Brainstorming sessions

I’m trying to imagine the decision-making process that resulted in this thing. “All right, everyone. We’re behind on our spawning quotas for the quarter. We need some ideas, now. What do we have? Anyone? Come on, anything you got. We’re just brainstorming here. No bad ideas.” “What if we fused an octopus and a shark …

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