Reason #7,832: First, it’s called an ‘ickspitter.’

I’m going to say this upfront: DO NOT EAT TIDE PODS OR FEED THEM TO OTHER PEOPLE OR ANIMALS. Now that that’s out of the way, it’s spitting ick. Maybe feeding this thing some Tide Pods would help clean it up? I don’t know. I admit I’m kind of grasping at straws here. This thing …

Reason #5,308: Why are we reforging souls?

Seriously. Slow down there. Why is this necessary? What is the ‘Cursemute’? Has there been a lot of soul reaving going on lately? Also, I’m no expert, but why are we using ‘divine fire’ to ‘reforge’ souls? I mean, I guess fire is a key instrument in metallurgy. But also fire tends to consume things. …

Reason #3,655: You’ve been cleansed

Imagine you live on a plane. You and all sorts of other people. Elves. Robots. Giants slugs. One day, out of nowhere, your plane gets CLEANSED. Are the all caps there excessive? Admittedly I feel a little silly using them for emphasis, but look at that picture. I don’t know where all those people are …

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