dragon – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #3,316: Oh. Oh no.

A vampire dragon. On Kaldheim. How does a vampire dragon make any sense on this plane? What did you do, Kaldheim? Rent this joker from Innistrad or something? Stay in your lane!

Reason #7,639: Hold my quicksilver mug.

What did I just say? You know, what? Nevermind.

Reason #6,815: They call it ‘bad weather.’

On Amonkhet, this would be the cataclysmic destruction brought on by a megalomaniacal dragon with aspirations to tyrannical deification. On Ravnica, this is…bad weather. I’m having a hard time believing that the inhabitants of the city of Ravnica haven’t just died out. Why would anyone with a lick of common sense choose to remain in …

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Reason #6,814: My favorite card.

This is my favorite card. Is it the best card in Magic? No. Is it a great way to close out a game? You betcha! I’ve been running a mono-black deck lately in Historic on Arena. It’s sort of a devotion-style deck, but I don’t lean hard into Gary–think I’m running just two–and I have …

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Reason #5,299: Death by…old age! It’s old age, right?

Are you kidding me? Of course it’s not old age! Have you forgotten where you live? Sorry, Eldo. You do have my sympathies.

Reason #873: Did you catch all that?

Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …

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Reason #8,658: At least this one’s small

Seriously, that doesn’t make it better. It’s a dragon, and a “killing machine from birth.” And it’s only gonna get bigger.

Reason #4,377: Dragons are dangerous

And apparently their blood is too. I want nothing to do with this thing.

Reason #7,581: I’m not very brave.

That’s a NOPE.

Reason #6,577: Zombie dragons

Does anyone out there think this could possibly be a nice zombie dragon? Does anyone think this is a dragon they want to meet in person? Let me rephrase that–anyone who does not already live in the MTG Multiverse. Y’all are a bunch of nuts, and I don’t trust your judgment.