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Tag Archives: everything is fine

Reason #3,341: This card…

Let’s do it for…this guy. Man. Playing against this card is not a fun experience for me. Maybe adrift in time and space is a good place for Teferi to be. I’m sorry. Those were my feelings talking. I’m fine. To its credit, this card never got banned. It probably wouldn’t even make a top …

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Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.

They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …

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Reason #860: The gods must be crazy.

So Bontu’s gone off the rails. No need to panic. What about this god-pharaoh everyone’s talking about? Look at those suns. The god-pharaoh will be back soon. They’ll help us out, right? I be they set everything straight, and it’ll be fine.

Reason #855: Zeal is fine. Really.

Hazoret, the jackal headed god of zeal. Things that have never caused problems when left unchecked: zeal, ambition. And knowledge, come to think of it. It’s fine though; we still have Oketra and her order. She’ll keep everyone in line. It’s going to be fine. Trust me.