Reason #6,815: They call it ‘bad weather.’

On Amonkhet, this would be the cataclysmic destruction brought on by a megalomaniacal dragon with aspirations to tyrannical deification. On Ravnica, this is…bad weather. I’m having a hard time believing that the inhabitants of the city of Ravnica haven’t just died out. Why would anyone with a lick of common sense choose to remain in …

Reason #4,008: Problems with hygiene

Goblin, you’re kinda putrid. I mean, no offense. It’s right there in your name, though. But this is not a serious problem. We can fix this. How about we start with a bath? And maybe get you some clothes that aren’t…rotting? Here, just…wait. Dude, wait, come back! No, that’s not what I meant by take …

Reason #2,441: Painful, messy blood of the gods

So according to Greek mythology, ichor is the blood of the gods. So what exactly is going on here? Is this elephant some sort of god? In which case, this god just exploded. Yikes. Or, if the elephant isn’t a god, then…what? Did he just get hit by an ichor water-balloon? That seems like a …

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