Reason #3,944: This crocodile has horns.

Because normal crocodiles clearly didn’t have enough sharp bits. Also, why are the horns curved to point almost directly at the croc’s eyes? From an evolutionary perspective, I fail to see the advantage.

Reason #8,002: The definition of ‘calm’

On the plane of Tarkir, calm involves launching a lot of horses and their riders in the air. Also I don’t think I’ve ever heard ‘calm’ and ‘the eye of a waking dragon’ used together in the same context. “Boy, the eye of that waking dragon sure does look calm.” Whatever, Tarkir. If you say …

Reason #4,009: Speaking of places to not go into…

Does anyone else notice the eyes in there? Or the teeth? Or the howling? No? Just me? Okay, that’s cool. Y’all go on in. Have fun. I’m just gonna be somewhere else. Like maybe a different multiverse.

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