Reason #64: An armpit seems like a really bad place for a mouth.

Sorry, I meant face. That’s a whole face under there. Can’t say I’ve ever run into anyone in my world with a face in their armpit. Maybe you have, I don’t know. Feel kind of bad for this guy. If I had a face in my armpit, I don’t think I’d be very happy about …

Reason #799: The turtle of your dreams

I never said they were good dreams. What the crud even is that…nose? The thing coming out of its neck. It looks like an elephant’s trunk, except it’s coming out of the wrong place. Trunks go on your face. Not there. Stay out of my dreams, turtle. And while you’re at it, stay out of …

Reason #875: The Scarab God

It’s the Scarab God. I hated playing against this joker. He pings you at the start of every turn. He digs your dead creatures out of your graveyard, turns them into big nasty zombies, and punches you in the face with them. And unless you exile him, he just keeps coming back every time you …

Reason #1,161: A matter of preference

Not really sure what’s going on here or why. I will say this though: I’m pretty sure that if I had a keyhole in the side of my head, and it opened up my face, and I found a weird gazebo-maze-thing with spirit birds inside, I would not be very happy about it. Just sayin’.

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