food – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #5102: Hidetsugu, who Stays on Brand

So, check this out. I pulled this from an article by Jim Davis about the previews for the Kamigawa Neon Dynasty expansion. And here’s the first comment at the bottom: I’ll leave you to your own conclusions.

Reason #838: This dog is going to eat the moon.

I rather liked the moon…

Reason #3,328: A false start.

Hey, Koma. The fight hasn’t started yet. I’m still looking for that cage, so just hold your horses, ok? That was a metaphor. Please don’t go eating any horses.

Reason #6,859: The unappeasable thing that devours blood

That goat, I bet he wishes he lived on a different plane. Or he would if he could. But he can’t. He’s dead.

Reason #2,309: Exquisite jewelry

Is this a joke? Cause this doesn’t look like an exhibition of the latest in merfolk fashion. It looks to me like that giant mollusk is trying to eat that merperson. They aren’t wearing a new necklace, and the mollusk doesn’t merely want a hug.

Reason #4,803: Why do they have to make every battlefield a pigpen?

It’s because they’re letting the pigs eat the corpses of the dead soldiers. Did you really need to ask, Toothlicker Harj? You are an orc. I’d expect you’d know these things. Oh. It was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it? Silly me.

Reason #3,321: You do realize he’s going to eat you when you summon him, right?

You saw what happened with the Feaster of Fools. I just want to make sure you understand what you’re getting into here. When this ends poorly, don’t come crying to me.

Reason #8,301: My, what big eyes you have!

Ostriches and tarsiers have eyes bigger than their brains; pretty sure neither of those would try to eat me though.

Reason #4,892: It eats brains.

And I like mine right where they are. Thanks. Stay away from me.

Reason #865: The Locust God

And…here’s another bug god. That last one went…well, not good, if we’re being honest. And who doesn’t like locusts? They come in swarms. They eat everything in sight. What could go wrong? Locusts. There could be a whole swarm of locusts.