Reason #6,815: They call it ‘bad weather.’

On Amonkhet, this would be the cataclysmic destruction brought on by a megalomaniacal dragon with aspirations to tyrannical deification. On Ravnica, this is…bad weather. I’m having a hard time believing that the inhabitants of the city of Ravnica haven’t just died out. Why would anyone with a lick of common sense choose to remain in …

Reason #6,814: My favorite card.

This is my favorite card. Is it the best card in Magic? No. Is it a great way to close out a game? You betcha! I’ve been running a mono-black deck lately in Historic on Arena. It’s sort of a devotion-style deck, but I don’t lean hard into Gary–think I’m running just two–and I have …

Reason #873: Did you catch all that?

Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …

Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet

One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.

Reason #860: The gods must be crazy.

So Bontu’s gone off the rails. No need to panic. What about this god-pharaoh everyone’s talking about? Look at those suns. The god-pharaoh will be back soon. They’ll help us out, right? I be they set everything straight, and it’ll be fine.

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started