gods – Page 3 – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #867: Did I mention that the river turned to blood?

Cause yeah, the river turned to blood. Why not? We have locusts. The gods are murdering each other. What else you got, Amonkhet?

Reason #865: The Locust God

And…here’s another bug god. That last one went…well, not good, if we’re being honest. And who doesn’t like locusts? They come in swarms. They eat everything in sight. What could go wrong? Locusts. There could be a whole swarm of locusts.

Reason #864: There goes Rhonas

Aaaaaand the Scorpion God just killed Rhonas. Should I go out on a limb here and say that’s not good? I think this is not good.

Reason #863: That’s not the god-pharaoh

Someone’s gone way off script here. Doesn’t look very friendly…

Reason #862: Here comes the god-pharaoh

EVERYTHING IS FINE.

Reason #861: Maybe the god-pharaoh will save us from these bugs as well.

That’s a big beetle. Gives me the willies.

Reason #860: The gods must be crazy.

So Bontu’s gone off the rails. No need to panic. What about this god-pharaoh everyone’s talking about? Look at those suns. The god-pharaoh will be back soon. They’ll help us out, right? I be they set everything straight, and it’ll be fine.

Reason #858: Speaking of murder…

Hey, where are those gods? These initiates are murdering each other. This is not ok! They need to come and stop this. Uh…gods…? This is not okay, right? Please tell me we’re not okay with this.

Reason #856: The god of strength.

Kind of a neutral characteristic, I guess. Sure, why not? We can join team Rhonas. It’ll be fine. I mean, you take what you can get, right?

Reason #855: Zeal is fine. Really.

Hazoret, the jackal headed god of zeal. Things that have never caused problems when left unchecked: zeal, ambition. And knowledge, come to think of it. It’s fine though; we still have Oketra and her order. She’ll keep everyone in line. It’s going to be fine. Trust me.