Reason #3,312: NOT NOW, VORINCLEX.

Get in line, buddy! We’ve got enough junk going on here on Kaldheim, already! I do not have time for your Phyrexian nonsense right now. Good grief, we still haven’t even dealt with the trolls yet. Hey, Arni! Do you know where I can find a Phyrexian-to-English dictionary around here?

Reason #2,000: This guy gets it.

Although, of course the first person we meet in this stupid multiverse with a lick of sense would get eaten by some toothy monster. Half the people around here would probably say “Sign me up!” when given the chance to experience someone else’s throes of panic. Good grief.

Reason #2,681: Maybe get this guy some pants?

Honestly, pants are probably the least of this guy’s problems. Blood tears are bad, but…soul tears? What the crud? This does not sound like a good way to go. I don’t know how something like this happens to someone, but good grief. Oh. It’s the Orzhov Syndicate. Welcome to Ravnica. Make sure you know who’s …

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