heads – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #4,795: Inside-out

Not that I’d put it beyond the MTG Multiverse to poop out some living nightmare like this, but after thinking about this one, part of me thinks someone just glued a bunch of teeth to a fiberglass frame. (As we well know, the MTG Multiverse isn’t lacking in sources of such teeth.) I mean, where …

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Reason #775: I like my face.

I mean, I get it. I’m probably being narrow minded. Or something. There are any number of reasons why I might be the problem here. But…we have a giant man-thing made of paper birds(?) floating upside-down. It has no face. Water is coming out of the hole in its head, flowing through the roof of …

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Reason #6,877: Please keep all hands feet and objects inside the ride.

That includes brains inside their respective heads. That’s where they belong. Especially if the host is still living. Don’t go removing other people’s brains. Just…just don’t.

Reason #8,702: The hand of death recognizes its own.

And apparently its own has four arms. Also an extra arm and head sticking out of their abdomen. Um. I honestly have nothing here guys. This one just makes no sense. At least he’s wearing pants. That looks like a solid pair of pants.

Reason #5,270: Maybe we should check in on Zendikar.

After all, there’s a new expansion coming out on the plane of Zendikar. Couldn’t hurt to see what’s new on that plane, right? Let’s take a look. Oh! Oh my! What is that, and what’s it doing to his head? Nope. Nope. Not this plane. Taking the first train out of here.

Reason #4,398: In what world is this a good idea?

Frankly, the question kind of answers itself. But still. Who thought this was a good idea? And what even is that thing in its head? And why a zombie? What is going on here? Come on, MTG Multiverse. Stop trolling us. You just look dumb.

Reason #5,861: Heads weren’t meant to bend that way.

Have you ever seen a head bend like that? I’ve never seen a head like that. This looks painful.

Reason #8,728: Uh, guys…what are you doing?

I mean, they could just be mannequin heads or something, right? Or I know: they’re phrenology busts, and Sharuum is having them thrown away, because phrenology is a debunked science. I bet that’s it. I’ll just keep telling myself that. It’s fine. Everything is fine.