A vampire dragon. On Kaldheim. How does a vampire dragon make any sense on this plane? What did you do, Kaldheim? Rent this joker from Innistrad or something? Stay in your lane!
Innistrad. Mountain pass. No guardrails.
Aren’t they just the coolest? Everyone loves vampires. That guy on the table loves vampires. Don’t you buddy? What’s that? Speak up, I can’t hear you. Huh. Must’ve fallen a asleep or something.
We all know the story of Frankenstein’s monster, so I’m not going to get into the obvious questions of animating constructs made from the parts of corpses. What I want to know is this: they call it the ‘prized’ amalgam. Does that mean there’s…a competition or something for this kind of thing? Are they giving …
And then she went mad. Yup.
Here on Innistrad there’s a resident guardian angel named Avacyn. There are a lot of scary, dangerous things on Innistrad–zombies, vampires, werewolves, the Ashmouth. But fortunately, we have Avacyn here on our side to protect us from all those things. Right?
Seems to me like the horses in the MTGverse really get the short end of the stick. Like this one, which got murdered by its rider, who turned out to be a werewolf. Or that one horse that went crazy and turned into a cannibal. Or the one that became one with its rider (and …
Those Eldrazi. I dunno guys. Too many legs. It even looks like the axe is part of…whatever this is. Is this healthy? Is this thing happy? Does it enjoy its existence? Does it feel fulfilled?
Oh hey, that’s what was coming through the breach. I’m sorry, Harry. Just…get out of there. Go home to England. France is done. The world is done. … Come on, Innistrad! You saw what the Eldrazi did to Zendikar! You really should have known better!