Reason #3,703: What is it so voracious for?

I mean that’s the real question, right? Maybe this dude is just a big softy looking for a friend. Maybe it’s really good at seven-part harmony. There are a lot of maybes we could get into, but…really? Do I really have to do this? It’s hungry, ok? Maybe it’s voracious for knowledge or something equally …

Reason #6,500: Don’t cut yourself

Surprisingly, we’re not talking about issues with knives here. We’re talking about the landscape. This place just looks inhospitable. Dry, dusty. I lived in Nigeria during harmattan season, and the dust just gets everywhere. I would not want to get stuck outside in this arid mesa. That landscape is super-sharp, though. Look at those hills; …

Reason #5,308: Why are we reforging souls?

Seriously. Slow down there. Why is this necessary? What is the ‘Cursemute’? Has there been a lot of soul reaving going on lately? Also, I’m no expert, but why are we using ‘divine fire’ to ‘reforge’ souls? I mean, I guess fire is a key instrument in metallurgy. But also fire tends to consume things. …

Reason #2,188: The acrid smell of sudden death

Overtime at a football game this is not. What it is, though: crud, I don’t know what’s going on here. It made the armor unwearable? That sounds bad. I don’t know what sudden death smells like, but I think that’s an experience I’m fine not having. What in the world, guys? What in the world? …

Reason #3,971: His blood is on fire

Why is this person’s blood on fire? I mean, crud, that looks like lava or something. So this Purphoros, he’s a god of the plane of Theros. As a side-note, the ‘gods’ of the MTG Multiverse typically aren’t planeswalkers. What does that tell you about the quality of ‘gods’ in the MTG Multiverse? Weaker than …

Reason #4,821: Shall we play a game?

I’m getting a “War Games” vibe here. Toppling kingdoms, you say? Do you mean literal kingdoms? What kind of game are we talking about here? I want to read the fine print before I sign up for this. Or maybe I’ll just pass. It’s fine.

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