Reason #5,579: The scarecrows have awoken.

I don’t get the sense that these things are benevolent, either. Now, I also don’t get the sense that they’re terribly malicious, but sometimes the indifferent force of nature can be more frightening than enemy bearing evil intent. I expect these things are scaring more than just crows. Be honest, if you heard or saw …

Reason #883: Oketra’s back.

A magical, zombie, cat-god with a magical, zombie, cat-bow. I never played with this card during War of the Spark limited. I’m not sure if I every played against it either, but people said this was possibly the most busted card in the set. You can’t get rid of it, and it just keeps churning …

Reason #873: Did you catch all that?

Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …

Reason #5,308: Why are we reforging souls?

Seriously. Slow down there. Why is this necessary? What is the ‘Cursemute’? Has there been a lot of soul reaving going on lately? Also, I’m no expert, but why are we using ‘divine fire’ to ‘reforge’ souls? I mean, I guess fire is a key instrument in metallurgy. But also fire tends to consume things. …

Reason #745: Too many knives

I’m just gonna throw it out there and say this doesn’t look very safe. This guy is definitely running with very sharp objects. To his credit, he does appear to be keeping them with the blade pointed down. But still. I’m counting maybe 25 knives this dude is openly carrying on his person? Can you …

Reason #2,099: The Sengir family

I’m just gonna go out on a limb here…oh gosh, that was entirely unintentional. Really. Let’s try again. I’m just gonna make a guess, but that fellow looks pretty healthy, so he’s probably not being prepped for surgery. Aaaaaaand I’m also gonna guess that the fellow wearing the skull isn’t a tattoo artist. Aaaaaand the …

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