10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live
MTG is fun. The MTG Multiverse is not.
So you summoned the gingerbread twins, cause you thought that would be a good idea. They gave you some stolen food. While you were doing that, an enemy wizard summoned this goon. And now this goon is trying to murder you. You checked your health; that thing gets its mitts on you and your day …
Continue reading “Reason #88: Things you can do with children”
I don’t get the sense that these things are benevolent, either. Now, I also don’t get the sense that they’re terribly malicious, but sometimes the indifferent force of nature can be more frightening than enemy bearing evil intent. I expect these things are scaring more than just crows. Be honest, if you heard or saw …
Continue reading “Reason #5,579: The scarecrows have awoken.”
A magical, zombie, cat-god with a magical, zombie, cat-bow. I never played with this card during War of the Spark limited. I’m not sure if I every played against it either, but people said this was possibly the most busted card in the set. You can’t get rid of it, and it just keeps churning …
Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …
The locust swarm just ate through the magical energy barrier protecting the city from the desert beyond.
Seriously. Slow down there. Why is this necessary? What is the ‘Cursemute’? Has there been a lot of soul reaving going on lately? Also, I’m no expert, but why are we using ‘divine fire’ to ‘reforge’ souls? I mean, I guess fire is a key instrument in metallurgy. But also fire tends to consume things. …
Continue reading “Reason #5,308: Why are we reforging souls?”
I’m just gonna throw it out there and say this doesn’t look very safe. This guy is definitely running with very sharp objects. To his credit, he does appear to be keeping them with the blade pointed down. But still. I’m counting maybe 25 knives this dude is openly carrying on his person? Can you …
I’m just gonna go out on a limb here…oh gosh, that was entirely unintentional. Really. Let’s try again. I’m just gonna make a guess, but that fellow looks pretty healthy, so he’s probably not being prepped for surgery. Aaaaaaand I’m also gonna guess that the fellow wearing the skull isn’t a tattoo artist. Aaaaaand the …
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 