Reason #3,317: The end is near?

Oh, hey there. So you’re the Realm Eater? Is that some sort of world-ending, apocalyps monster? If you’re going to eat the world, do you think you could make sure to get Vorinclex while your at it? I mean, he is part of this world, at this moment. Just watch out for that Phyrexian oil; …

Reason #4,056: The people here are scary too.

On Eldraine, it’s not just the monsters you have to worry about. Here’s a guy suplexing a bear. Also, that bear’s head cracked that rock, not the other way around. Also, that guy looks like he’s wearing plate; I don’t think plate is supposed to bend like that. Are these things normal? Should I not …

Reason #3,378: I feel like Dovin should know better.

Come on, dude. You live in the MTG Multiverse; you’re even a planeswalker. Why are you surprised that there are giant monsters everywhere? A civilized plane? Oh, please. This is Ravnica. Go check out the sewers.

Reason #2,000: This guy gets it.

Although, of course the first person we meet in this stupid multiverse with a lick of sense would get eaten by some toothy monster. Half the people around here would probably say “Sign me up!” when given the chance to experience someone else’s throes of panic. Good grief.

Reason 9,523: Sharks with Arms

Sharks don’t need arms. They really don’t. I’d say that at least this thing doesn’t fly, but here’s the thing: it certainly could. That’s what the Mutate mechanic is all about. You can basically Frankenstein creatures together, making one super creature with the combined abilities and keywords and stuff. So maybe you have a flying …

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