Oops, I meant Toralf, God of Thun–Fury. Fury. Obviously. Wouldn’t be a party without a god to fight our world–er cosmos serpent–to the death. Cosmos serpent. Yup. Hey, buddy. Spoiler alert, but you’re probably gonna die. Did I mention these gods can die? Ugh. Puny gods.
If Xenagos is right here, then the gods of Theros are pretty lame. And I guess he’d know, cause he probably knows how he ‘found’ godhood in the first place. Gods whose existence is dependent on the sentiments of mortals? Please. That’s some serious JV league divinity there.
I think maybe I’ll just let the leeches…negotiate the situation with each other. They seem like they can probably take care of themselves. Just gonna leave now. Back it up. Back it up slow. Just back it up.
People get stranded. And make friends with volleyballs. Looks lovely though.
I do. Good thing it was just a movie, right? What was that Thalia? You saw what?
Remember our good friend, the Munitions Expert? And remember his menagerie? I know what you were thinking back then. I was thinking the same thing: No, the world doesn’t need any more flying sharks. Pretty sure we’re good here. Well, guess what. Ikoria heard you, and Ikoria said, “Hold on. We respectfully disagree.” So now …
I’m getting a “War Games” vibe here. Toppling kingdoms, you say? Do you mean literal kingdoms? What kind of game are we talking about here? I want to read the fine print before I sign up for this. Or maybe I’ll just pass. It’s fine.
Imagine Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds being made in Eldraine. This guy looks like he could chomp a human in half. Yikes. I do like the art on this card. Still makes me uncomfortable, though.