Reason #5,101: Let’s make jewelry out of mercury.

So am I jumping to conclusions? A little. Is that something MTGMultiverse denizens would do? Highly likely. Would I trust any jewelry-makers from Phyrexia? Absolutely not.

Reason #3,318: I think you have some competition, Sarulf.

Or you might have to share anyhow. Koma is obviously Kaldheim’s analog to the Norse Jormungandr, the World Serpent. According to Norse mythology, Jormungandr kicks off Ragnarok when he releases his tail, thrashes his way on to land, and covers half the world in his venom. I’ve no doubt that the MTG Multiverse would let …

Reason #7,110: Smallpox

According to the WHO, roughly 3 in 10 people who contracted smallpox died from it. Those who survived often experienced significant lasting effects, such as scarring or blindness. In 1798, Edward Jenner developed an inoculation technique for treating smallpox; estimates suggest there were still some 50 million cases annually every year on a global basis …

Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.

They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …

Reason #64: An armpit seems like a really bad place for a mouth.

Sorry, I meant face. That’s a whole face under there. Can’t say I’ve ever run into anyone in my world with a face in their armpit. Maybe you have, I don’t know. Feel kind of bad for this guy. If I had a face in my armpit, I don’t think I’d be very happy about …

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