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Reason #8,894: The Rakdos cult is full of evil, evil people.

I suppose one could debate what a rusalka is, and that could change how one interprets this situation. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe they’re closer to the malevolent, nature spirits of Slavic folklore. Looking at the flavor text on the rest of the cards in the rusalka cycle from the Guildpack expansion, it seems to me …

Reason #3,340: “Adrift in the currents of time” doesn’t sound good.

The MTG Multiverse always has some cataclysmic crisis that needs averting. So when I say, “What were you thinking getting adrift in the currents of time?” Teferi will answer, “It was the only way to stop the [insert crisis here].” I get it. Let me throw out an idea here. Maybe we’re being a little …

Reason #4,795: Inside-out

Not that I’d put it beyond the MTG Multiverse to poop out some living nightmare like this, but after thinking about this one, part of me thinks someone just glued a bunch of teeth to a fiberglass frame. (As we well know, the MTG Multiverse isn’t lacking in sources of such teeth.) I mean, where …

Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.

Here’s a hint: there are three rats. Do you see it? Yes, the combination of animation with an advanced state of decay is unnatural, but they all exhibit this characteristic. It’s the eyes. The rat on the right has more eyes than the other two rats. Why do you have four-eyed rats, MTG Multiverse? You’re …

Reason #8,113: Nobody wants to get thrown out a window.

That said, the MTG Multiverse does not have a monopoly on defenestration. And I have long been an admirer of the word. So, MTG Multiverse. This is still terrible, and you’re still terrible, but I will give you a point for this one. My World: 8,112 MTG Multiverse: 1

Reason #8,112: What is even going on here?

Based on the quote, this sounds like a lesser-of-two-evils thing, so I think we can all agree that whatever is going on, it’s bad. And it looks like that whole disintegration thing, which we have seen to be bad. Not that that explains much. This card is missing a lot of context. I can give …

Reason #5102: Hidetsugu, who Stays on Brand

So, check this out. I pulled this from an article by Jim Davis about the previews for the Kamigawa Neon Dynasty expansion. And here’s the first comment at the bottom: I’ll leave you to your own conclusions.