Reason #6,577: Zombie dragons

Does anyone out there think this could possibly be a nice zombie dragon? Does anyone think this is a dragon they want to meet in person? Let me rephrase that–anyone who does not already live in the MTG Multiverse. Y’all are a bunch of nuts, and I don’t trust your judgment.

Reason #79: Urza raises red flags

Urza here is said to be “…pushing the boundaries of both possibility and morality.” Pushing the boundaries of morality, guys. I hope I don’t have to explain this one. Although apparently Urza kinda missed the boat on this one. Look, if one of your friends starts saying, “Hey, wanna go push the boundaries of morality?”, …

Reason #3,559: Indecision can kill you

I feel like having this thing fall on you from that sky would be a bad way to go. Not sure which plane this thing comes from. Not sure I want to know either. I guess knowing is probably better, cause then I could avoid that plane. On the other hand, my intention is to …

Reason #928: The Fountain of Cho

I don’t actually know what the Fountain of Cho is. Thing is though, I read about this wall, and I read about these waters, and I just immediately think these waters are probably mixed with toxic, subterranean ichor, or maybe the spirits of the damned, or someone’s blood. I think we need to talk about …

Reason #4,398: In what world is this a good idea?

Frankly, the question kind of answers itself. But still. Who thought this was a good idea? And what even is that thing in its head? And why a zombie? What is going on here? Come on, MTG Multiverse. Stop trolling us. You just look dumb.

Reason #834: A very rigid ideal.

No room for discussion either, I guess. Ideological debates aside, why are we taking such a hard line here? There’s something terrible out there, right? We’re not just crazed zealots here? Oh wait. Maybe we’re crazed zealots, and there’s something terrible out there compelling this ideological position. This is the MTG Multiverse. Clearly it’s both.

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