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Reason #3,960: I feel bad for the horses.

Seems to me like the horses in the MTGverse really get the short end of the stick. Like this one, which got murdered by its rider, who turned out to be a werewolf. Or that one horse that went crazy and turned into a cannibal. Or the one that became one with its rider (and …

Reason #1,878: What in the world is a Jokulhaups?

You know what question I don’t have to ask, though: is a Jokulhaups a bad thing? Because you know what? It is bad. Look at the picture. Read the flavor text. Do you want to be standing in front of that mess? Do you want to be in the Yavimaya Valley when a Jokulhaups comes …

Reason 3,881: Another hazardous bog.

Hey, look. This one has hands. Still not looking for a hug, though. Strangely, it looks like this one is indoors? Not sure which plane this is, but apparently you aren’t safe going into houses, because you might find a murderous bog inside. Thanks, MTG Multiverse. You’ve ruined houses.

Reason #833: A literal giant in the sky dropping big sharp objects

Haven’t heard much from Lorwyn so far, but this faerie kingdom doesn’t mess around. No creepy zombies. No weird things messing with your soul. No vampires or blood rituals. Not even some freaky monster with too many teeth. Nope. Just a very large man trying to hit you with a very sharp stick.

Reason #9,064: Sorry, rabbit. You were born in the wrong multiverse.

This is a cottontail rabbit, native to the Americas. Looks pretty normal. Seems healthy, no visible wounds or obvious illnesses. Doesn’t look malnourished. I think we can agree this rabbit is probably doing well enough for a rabbit, right? This is a rabbit from the MTG Multiverse plane of Dominaria. This rabbit has opposable digits. …

Reason #6,500: Don’t cut yourself

Surprisingly, we’re not talking about issues with knives here. We’re talking about the landscape. This place just looks inhospitable. Dry, dusty. I lived in Nigeria during harmattan season, and the dust just gets everywhere. I would not want to get stuck outside in this arid mesa. That landscape is super-sharp, though. Look at those hills; …