I’m just gonna go out on a limb here…oh gosh, that was entirely unintentional. Really. Let’s try again. I’m just gonna make a guess, but that fellow looks pretty healthy, so he’s probably not being prepped for surgery. Aaaaaaand I’m also gonna guess that the fellow wearing the skull isn’t a tattoo artist. Aaaaaand the …
Tag Archives: MTG
Reason #9,713: Not even planeswalkers are immune to waterfalls
Also, this Vraska character sounds like a real nice character. Although maybe she’s turned over a new leaf here or something? Still. Anyway. Vraska: “Uh, oh.” Jace: “Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall.” Vraska: “Yup.” Jace: “Sharp rocks at the bottom?” Vraska: “Most likely.” Jace: “Bring it on. Booyaaaaaaaah-haahaahaaaaaaaaaaaah–“
Reason #9,082: Pernicious Fungus
The parasitic fungus known as cordyceps is grade-A, nightmare fuel. It infects a host body and replaces its tissue. In ants, for instance, the virus takes over the brain. The ant starts acting erratic, and the other ants will actually remove the infected member from the rest of the colony. As the cordyceps hijacks the …
Reason #3,655: You’ve been cleansed
Imagine you live on a plane. You and all sorts of other people. Elves. Robots. Giants slugs. One day, out of nowhere, your plane gets CLEANSED. Are the all caps there excessive? Admittedly I feel a little silly using them for emphasis, but look at that picture. I don’t know where all those people are …
Reason #17: Flying Sharks
Hmmm. What’s that there is the background? FLYING SHARKS. Or maybe they just got launched? You know, it doesn’t matter. Sharks are bad enough in the water. That’s a lot of sharks where they really don’t belong. Count me out.
Reason #787: Your city just got ransacked
“Why is the brutality so widespread?” you ask. Well, that’s because a zombie army just invaded the city of Ravnica. That zombie in the background is setting that house on fire. War generally has a highly negative impact on property values. It also has a highly positive impact on mortality rates. Move to Ravnica. Lose …
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Reason #47: Catacomb Slugs
A common theme you can expect to see is things (particularly animals) being much larger than they should be. Take this slug that lives in the sewers of the city of Ravnica. The existence of such a creature raises all sorts of questions that might challenge Ravnica’s rank on any “Best Cities to Live In” …
10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 