Reason #775: I like my face.

I mean, I get it. I’m probably being narrow minded. Or something. There are any number of reasons why I might be the problem here. But…we have a giant man-thing made of paper birds(?) floating upside-down. It has no face. Water is coming out of the hole in its head, flowing through the roof of …

Reason #4,988: You’re going to have to release the chaos yourself.

Appears this guy has really gone all in on this reckless thing. Unfortunately for him, I can’t say I’m on board with that. Just doesn’t seem like a great idea. Then again, he probably doesn’t care much. I’m a human, not a goblin.

Reason #662: Change is not always a good thing.

I’m looking at the rules text of this card, and I have a very important question. Does this mean that if I met Ashaya in person, I would become a tree? Because I don’t want to be a tree. Thanks. Ashaya can’t planeswalk, right?

Reason #4,092: And now for something completely different…well, not really.

Just a new way to die that doesn’t involve disintegration. I guess you turn into some sort of shadow thing or an ink or ooze blob? I don’t know. Not sure which is worse, either. Don’t really care which is worse, in any case. This isn’t an invitation for one of those “would you rather…” …

Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet

One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.

Reason #7,301: Not for the faint of heart

By way of confession, I’m not particularly fond of heights. When I first started playing it, I would get mild vertigo playing Minecraft. So, I don’t think I’d do particularly well living on a floating island. This is not a floating island though, obviously; it is a floating plain, hence the name. I don’t think …

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