Reason #4,988: You’re going to have to release the chaos yourself.

Appears this guy has really gone all in on this reckless thing. Unfortunately for him, I can’t say I’m on board with that. Just doesn’t seem like a great idea. Then again, he probably doesn’t care much. I’m a human, not a goblin.

Reason #662: Change is not always a good thing.

I’m looking at the rules text of this card, and I have a very important question. Does this mean that if I met Ashaya in person, I would become a tree? Because I don’t want to be a tree. Thanks. Ashaya can’t planeswalk, right?

Reason #4,092: And now for something completely different…well, not really.

Just a new way to die that doesn’t involve disintegration. I guess you turn into some sort of shadow thing or an ink or ooze blob? I don’t know. Not sure which is worse, either. Don’t really care which is worse, in any case. This isn’t an invitation for one of those “would you rather…” …

Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet

One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.

Reason #7,301: Not for the faint of heart

By way of confession, I’m not particularly fond of heights. When I first started playing it, I would get mild vertigo playing Minecraft. So, I don’t think I’d do particularly well living on a floating island. This is not a floating island though, obviously; it is a floating plain, hence the name. I don’t think …

Reason #79: Urza raises red flags

Urza here is said to be “…pushing the boundaries of both possibility and morality.” Pushing the boundaries of morality, guys. I hope I don’t have to explain this one. Although apparently Urza kinda missed the boat on this one. Look, if one of your friends starts saying, “Hey, wanna go push the boundaries of morality?”, …

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