Let’s do it for…this guy. Man. Playing against this card is not a fun experience for me. Maybe adrift in time and space is a good place for Teferi to be. I’m sorry. Those were my feelings talking. I’m fine. To its credit, this card never got banned. It probably wouldn’t even make a top …
Tag Archives: not fine
Reason #3,305: Just one?
That’s all, Arni? Just one troll? Good job, you beat one troll. Well, guess what? You woke up a whole stupid pack of them! You woke up all of them! They’re everywhere! How are you going to get rid of ALL the trolls, Arni? Your gods aren’t even immortal. You have a doomskar that swallowed …
Reason #4,825: That’s not normal, even for vampires.
It looks like both of your abdomens have been flayed. Is everything all right? You were aware of this, weren’t you?
Reason #877: Imminent doom
The doom is no longer imminent, folks. It’s here.
Reason #876: There goes the neighborhood
Long story short, the whole city is pretty much a ruin at this point. Nicol Bolas won. The gods are dead (except for the one-armed Hazoret). There are zombies everywhere. Everything is just bad.
Reason #873: Did you catch all that?
Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …
Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet
One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.
Reason #870: Here comes the god-pharaoh.
Turns out, he’s a murder-god-pharaoh. You do realize he’s a murder-god-pharaoh, right? Not like it will take long for you to find out at this point…
Reason #864: There goes Rhonas
Aaaaaand the Scorpion God just killed Rhonas. Should I go out on a limb here and say that’s not good? I think this is not good.
Reason #858: Speaking of murder…
Hey, where are those gods? These initiates are murdering each other. This is not ok! They need to come and stop this. Uh…gods…? This is not okay, right? Please tell me we’re not okay with this.