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Reason #3,341: This card…

Let’s do it for…this guy. Man. Playing against this card is not a fun experience for me. Maybe adrift in time and space is a good place for Teferi to be. I’m sorry. Those were my feelings talking. I’m fine. To its credit, this card never got banned. It probably wouldn’t even make a top …

Reason #3,305: Just one?

That’s all, Arni? Just one troll? Good job, you beat one troll. Well, guess what? You woke up a whole stupid pack of them! You woke up all of them! They’re everywhere! How are you going to get rid of ALL the trolls, Arni? Your gods aren’t even immortal. You have a doomskar that swallowed …

Reason #876: There goes the neighborhood

Long story short, the whole city is pretty much a ruin at this point. Nicol Bolas won. The gods are dead (except for the one-armed Hazoret). There are zombies everywhere. Everything is just bad.

Reason #873: Did you catch all that?

Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …

Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet

One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.