not safe – Page 2 – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #8,072: At least it’s not made of souls

Or blood or organs or whatever. Still dangerous though. Still not something I want any part of.

Reason #8,658: At least this one’s small

Seriously, that doesn’t make it better. It’s a dragon, and a “killing machine from birth.” And it’s only gonna get bigger.

Reason #8,233: Public safety hazards

Put up a sign or something. “Danger – Leeches, Do not enter” Just right in front of the bog. It’s not hard.

Reason #749: The wrong kind of inspiration

This guy remind you of anyone?

Reason #2,791: Open flames in the library

They’re dangerous. It seems like that would be pretty obvious, but absent-minded researchers–sometimes they forget or don’t think about these things I guess? So yeah. Just to be clear. Open flames in the library = bad idea The self-immolation thing on the other hand. If the intense pain and burning flesh aren’t a big red …

Continue reading “Reason #2,791: Open flames in the library”

Reason #4,442: A kindred spirit?

I would definitely rather not be the latter either. Frankly though, I’d rather not be the former either. Think I’ll just stay out of your multiverse, if it’s all the same to you.

Reason #5,812: Why are these rats on fire?

Rats are not supposed to be on fire.

Reason #6,500: Don’t cut yourself

Surprisingly, we’re not talking about issues with knives here. We’re talking about the landscape. This place just looks inhospitable. Dry, dusty. I lived in Nigeria during harmattan season, and the dust just gets everywhere. I would not want to get stuck outside in this arid mesa. That landscape is super-sharp, though. Look at those hills; …

Continue reading “Reason #6,500: Don’t cut yourself”

Reason #7,982: Don’t try this at home

So you’ve probably heard this, but here’s a thing about armor: the joints are the weak points. This knight has her entire right arm bare, with little to no protection for the shoulder joint and the underarm. That’s where people will be aiming the pointy things. Just sayin’. Oh, also: don’t hold long metal objects …

Continue reading “Reason #7,982: Don’t try this at home”

Reason #5,304: It moves

I don’t know that this fellow is actively malicious, though the card text suggests maybe he’s targeting anything that’s not a giant. Whatever the case, living anywhere near this guy just doesn’t seem safe. He might just pick up your house and walk off with it.