Reason #3,310: Is this what you were talking about, Robert Frost?

That line about things perishing twice, was that a prediction? Was that something you lived through, Robert Frost? Were you a planeswalker? Now I have questions.

Reason #3,305: Just one?

That’s all, Arni? Just one troll? Good job, you beat one troll. Well, guess what? You woke up a whole stupid pack of them! You woke up all of them! They’re everywhere! How are you going to get rid of ALL the trolls, Arni? Your gods aren’t even immortal. You have a doomskar that swallowed …

Reason #5,512: Aether Portals

That eye there: that’s the eye of confusion. Whatever that thing is, it looks like it doesn’t know where or when it’s been. What is wrong with this place? These portals can displace you in space OR time if you get sucked into one. And they’re just floating across the Mirrodin’s surface. Imagine you’re at …

Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.

They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …

Reason #7,731: Regression

Let me get this straight. We’re worshiping angels now? You do realize that’s a step DOWN from gods, right? And just to remind you, the gods around here are pretty terrible. Also, they’re weak; they can’t planeswalk. And you’re telling me that you want to worship something LOWER in the order of creation. Were the …

Reason #3,823: Flectomancy

If this happened accidentally, it would be one thing. Not a good thing, mind you. I get the feeling though that you’re doing this one purpose. Be honest. You claim to be doing ‘science,’ but you Izzet folk just want to break stuff. At least the Gruul clan is willing to be upfront about their …

Reason #6,814: My favorite card.

This is my favorite card. Is it the best card in Magic? No. Is it a great way to close out a game? You betcha! I’ve been running a mono-black deck lately in Historic on Arena. It’s sort of a devotion-style deck, but I don’t lean hard into Gary–think I’m running just two–and I have …

Reason #6,559: Brainstorming sessions

I’m trying to imagine the decision-making process that resulted in this thing. “All right, everyone. We’re behind on our spawning quotas for the quarter. We need some ideas, now. What do we have? Anyone? Come on, anything you got. We’re just brainstorming here. No bad ideas.” “What if we fused an octopus and a shark …

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