Reason #3,378: I feel like Dovin should know better.

Come on, dude. You live in the MTG Multiverse; you’re even a planeswalker. Why are you surprised that there are giant monsters everywhere? A civilized plane? Oh, please. This is Ravnica. Go check out the sewers.

Reason #5,370: Phobias. Or why I wouldn’t fit in on Zendikar.

I’m not a huge fan of heights, and Zendikar seems to have a lot of high places that would be easy to fall from. Also, a notable lack of guardrails.

Reason #662: Change is not always a good thing.

I’m looking at the rules text of this card, and I have a very important question. Does this mean that if I met Ashaya in person, I would become a tree? Because I don’t want to be a tree. Thanks. Ashaya can’t planeswalk, right?

Reason #5,822: Puny gods

If Xenagos is right here, then the gods of Theros are pretty lame. And I guess he’d know, cause he probably knows how he ‘found’ godhood in the first place. Gods whose existence is dependent on the sentiments of mortals? Please. That’s some serious JV league divinity there.

Reason #1,727: Maternal instincts

Y’all know how mama birds often teach their chicks to fly by throwing them out of the nest, right? Sounds like kind of a harsh way to learn, but I’m inclined to think that their good instincts and evolutionary development has trained them to know how to do this successfully, in ways that would not …

Reason #48: Kaldheim

Kaldheim is a new plane entering the MTG Multiverse. Kaldheim is a plane of vikings. Now, I know everyone loves vikings, or at least the idea of vikings. Or least the idea of what they think vikings are. You’re a smart person; I’m sure you know that the way vikings are represented in popular culture …

Reason #5,270: Maybe we should check in on Zendikar.

After all, there’s a new expansion coming out on the plane of Zendikar. Couldn’t hurt to see what’s new on that plane, right? Let’s take a look. Oh! Oh my! What is that, and what’s it doing to his head? Nope. Nope. Not this plane. Taking the first train out of here.

Reason #880: Bontu’s back.

Here she is. And she’s a zombie. Just makin’ a mess of Ravnica. The so-called ‘gods’ of the MTG Multiverse don’t impress me much. It often seems like the planeswalkers are actually more powerful, than say the gods of Amonkhet or Theros or wherever. Case in point, Bolas killing and enslaving the Amonkhet gods. Also, …

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