Reason #2,216: The price of greatness – one hole

Can we stop with this “at any cost” thing? Think about it for a minute. Say, this fellow here offers you greatness. You ask him what it will cost you. He says, “I’d like to use your lux cannon.” You say, “Sounds reasonable.” So you give him the keys to the lux cannon. Now, this …

Reason #8,226: This one’s certainly big enough.

Just based on the scale there. People-sized houses up to its knees. Not sure how well the leech would do trying to suck blood out of it. And in any case, it’s the wrong plane; this fellow is from Theros, so I guess we’ll have to continue the search for the sake of our leech …

Reason #7,310: The state of Ravnican Health and Human Services

Seems like a rather poor offering if you ask me. The Rakdos could clearly use some good therapy. Pretty sure this would fall under sadomasochistic tendencies, but I’m no psychologist. I do know the value of good, professional counseling though, Dear Reader. If you’re not feeling right upstairs, go talk to someone. Find a professional …

Reason #3,559: Indecision can kill you

I feel like having this thing fall on you from that sky would be a bad way to go. Not sure which plane this thing comes from. Not sure I want to know either. I guess knowing is probably better, cause then I could avoid that plane. On the other hand, my intention is to …

Reason #8,002: The definition of ‘calm’

On the plane of Tarkir, calm involves launching a lot of horses and their riders in the air. Also I don’t think I’ve ever heard ‘calm’ and ‘the eye of a waking dragon’ used together in the same context. “Boy, the eye of that waking dragon sure does look calm.” Whatever, Tarkir. If you say …

Reason #5,330: Ceaseless hunger

Y’all remember Kroxa? Well, meet Ulamog. He’s also a very hungry boy. Ceaselessly in fact. He’s from the plane of Zendikar. I bet he and Kroxa are friends. Or they would be if they ever met. Have they ever been seen in the same place? Wait a minute! Could Kroxa and Ulamog be the same …

Reason #6,127: Bring out your dead

All these zombie knights running around, it’s like Death retired and the four horsemen of the apocalypse decided to have tryouts to replace him. Or maybe they’re all going to a convention or something? I’d hate to be the group that had booked the hall next to that one. Like, you’re a bunch of dentists, …

Reason 3,881: Another hazardous bog.

Hey, look. This one has hands. Still not looking for a hug, though. Strangely, it looks like this one is indoors? Not sure which plane this is, but apparently you aren’t safe going into houses, because you might find a murderous bog inside. Thanks, MTG Multiverse. You’ve ruined houses.

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