Reason #1,869: An imminent conflagration

I’m looking at a lot of overgrowth here, and I’m also looking at some fires that are really started to get going. This place is about to get torched. Do you think the Gruul know how to do a controlled burn? If they do, do you think they’d ever actually do one? In fact, I’m …

Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.

They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …

Reason #3,823: Flectomancy

If this happened accidentally, it would be one thing. Not a good thing, mind you. I get the feeling though that you’re doing this one purpose. Be honest. You claim to be doing ‘science,’ but you Izzet folk just want to break stuff. At least the Gruul clan is willing to be upfront about their …

Reason #6,815: They call it ‘bad weather.’

On Amonkhet, this would be the cataclysmic destruction brought on by a megalomaniacal dragon with aspirations to tyrannical deification. On Ravnica, this is…bad weather. I’m having a hard time believing that the inhabitants of the city of Ravnica haven’t just died out. Why would anyone with a lick of common sense choose to remain in …

Reason #3,378: I feel like Dovin should know better.

Come on, dude. You live in the MTG Multiverse; you’re even a planeswalker. Why are you surprised that there are giant monsters everywhere? A civilized plane? Oh, please. This is Ravnica. Go check out the sewers.

Reason #871: The reason I don’t want to visit Amonkhet

One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.

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