One reason among many really. But yes. This is the so-called god-pharaoh, that guy who built the dreadhorde and used all those zombies to invade Ravnica. Real nice fellow, eh? I’ll just take a hard pass on this Nicol Bolas. Hard pass on Amonkhet. Hard pass on Ravnica. Hard pass on this whole stupid multiverse.
Tag Archives: Ravnica
Reason #6,601: And you thought alligators in the sewers were bad
Good grief, what even is that thing? Some kind of wurm or something? What are you people throwing down there to feed this thing? If there ever were alligators down there, I’m guessing they’re probably gone now. This has got to be Ravnica.
Reason #750: Sometimes the truth is not an improvement.
As I was scanning through the Gatherer database, I came across this card and misread it as “Rakdos Knifefight.” I feel like the sacrificial rites of the Rakdos cults are probably no less grisly than a Rakdos knife fight would be. In fact, I wonder if there is any real difference between those things. I …
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Reason #748: Why do you need a ‘kill-suit’?
Especially one that may well be just as much of a threat to the wearer as anyone else? I just told y’all you shouldn’t be running around with so many knives. I JUST told you. I don’t think they’re listening to me.
Reason #7,310: The state of Ravnican Health and Human Services
Seems like a rather poor offering if you ask me. The Rakdos could clearly use some good therapy. Pretty sure this would fall under sadomasochistic tendencies, but I’m no psychologist. I do know the value of good, professional counseling though, Dear Reader. If you’re not feeling right upstairs, go talk to someone. Find a professional …
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Reason #8,399: A lack of guardrails
This is a very fixable problem, Ravnica. It’s like you’re just asking for it.
Reason 7,334: Stay out of the sewers. Stay out of Ravnica.
Ravnica. Listen. You have a problem here. There are terrors and nightmares in your sewers. Is that a squid? Why are we even still talking about your sewers? Get your act together, Ravnica! Come on!
Reason #7,944: Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the…uh…
Hydroid…krasii? What even is that? And ‘Havoc is a small price to pay for data.’ What kind of sociopath are we dealing with here? Ravnica. Seriously.
Reason #6,500: Don’t cut yourself
Surprisingly, we’re not talking about issues with knives here. We’re talking about the landscape. This place just looks inhospitable. Dry, dusty. I lived in Nigeria during harmattan season, and the dust just gets everywhere. I would not want to get stuck outside in this arid mesa. That landscape is super-sharp, though. Look at those hills; …
Reason #2,188: The acrid smell of sudden death
Overtime at a football game this is not. What it is, though: crud, I don’t know what’s going on here. It made the armor unwearable? That sounds bad. I don’t know what sudden death smells like, but I think that’s an experience I’m fine not having. What in the world, guys? What in the world? …
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10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live 