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Reason #9,207: Just what I’ve always wanted: to be eaten by a giant frog.

No! No, I don’t want to get eaten by a giant frog! Why would I want to get eaten by a giant frog? Why would anyone want to get eaten by a giant frog? Don’t answer that, MTG Multiverse. This isn’t up for debate. No giant frogs. Just no.

Reason #4,803: Why do they have to make every battlefield a pigpen?

It’s because they’re letting the pigs eat the corpses of the dead soldiers. Did you really need to ask, Toothlicker Harj? You are an orc. I’d expect you’d know these things. Oh. It was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it? Silly me.

Reason #3,323: They don’t stop at killing you, either.

Are you ready to disband your cult now? Cause this is what you have to look forward to, if you don’t. You’re going to be a zombie thrall. Is that what you want? … Dude! The correct answer was “No!” No! That question was rhetorical!

Reason #4,398: In what world is this a good idea?

Frankly, the question kind of answers itself. But still. Who thought this was a good idea? And what even is that thing in its head? And why a zombie? What is going on here? Come on, MTG Multiverse. Stop trolling us. You just look dumb.