Reason #3,770: There goes the sun.

They blot out the sun. For five days. And they yell the entire time. I gotta ask: why in the world did Nicol Bolas want to conquer this plane? This place is stupid. Why would anyone want to live here? Ravnica is stupid! Nicol Bolas is stupid! This whole stupid multiverse is stupid! … I’m …

Reason #860: The gods must be crazy.

So Bontu’s gone off the rails. No need to panic. What about this god-pharaoh everyone’s talking about? Look at those suns. The god-pharaoh will be back soon. They’ll help us out, right? I be they set everything straight, and it’ll be fine.

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