Reason #771: One of these things is not like the others.

Here’s a hint: there are three rats. Do you see it? Yes, the combination of animation with an advanced state of decay is unnatural, but they all exhibit this characteristic. It’s the eyes. The rat on the right has more eyes than the other two rats. Why do you have four-eyed rats, MTG Multiverse? You’re …

Reason #6,559: Brainstorming sessions

I’m trying to imagine the decision-making process that resulted in this thing. “All right, everyone. We’re behind on our spawning quotas for the quarter. We need some ideas, now. What do we have? Anyone? Come on, anything you got. We’re just brainstorming here. No bad ideas.” “What if we fused an octopus and a shark …

Reason 6,662: Magic the Gathering – Where teeth come to die.

Seems like having teeth around here can be pretty rough. I sure hope this guy has some Novocaine, though I can’t say I’m optimistic. Just looking at things here, I’m guessing the dental services in his area aren’t the best.

Reason #2,000: This guy gets it.

Although, of course the first person we meet in this stupid multiverse with a lick of sense would get eaten by some toothy monster. Half the people around here would probably say “Sign me up!” when given the chance to experience someone else’s throes of panic. Good grief.

Reason #8,231: Is this really a leech?

I’m no biologist, but that does not look like the mouth of a creature that merely wants to suck your blood. It looks more like the pierce your flesh/slice you up/swallow you down variety. It is admittedly hard to get a good sense of scale just from the picture, so maybe it’s very small. Based …

Reason #3,559: Indecision can kill you

I feel like having this thing fall on you from that sky would be a bad way to go. Not sure which plane this thing comes from. Not sure I want to know either. I guess knowing is probably better, cause then I could avoid that plane. On the other hand, my intention is to …

Reason #4,884: Another misnomer

Hey look, it’s an actual leech. It also looks pretty big though. And man, those teeth look very much like they’re meant for chewing things. Wait, what’s that Gavi? This thing is after more than just my blood? Seriously? What’s it after? These ARE NOT leeches, Ikoria!

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