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Reason #8,332: Clean your tools

Why do its scars cut deeper than its blade? Because it’s rusty. If you cut yourself on this, you’ll probably get tetanus or something. Also, this thing looks like it could just snap off at any time. Get your shots. Take care of your equipment.

Reason #2,299: Where do these things come from?

This is not normal. Just a bunch of junk, walking around, doing…what? You can’t keep something like this around, people. You’re not going to use it as, say, a school crossing guard. Some kid’s gonna get impaled with all the random sharp things poking out. And the rust? Make sure you have your tetanus shots, …