Reason #5,822: Puny gods

If Xenagos is right here, then the gods of Theros are pretty lame. And I guess he’d know, cause he probably knows how he ‘found’ godhood in the first place. Gods whose existence is dependent on the sentiments of mortals? Please. That’s some serious JV league divinity there.

Reason #880: Bontu’s back.

Here she is. And she’s a zombie. Just makin’ a mess of Ravnica. The so-called ‘gods’ of the MTG Multiverse don’t impress me much. It often seems like the planeswalkers are actually more powerful, than say the gods of Amonkhet or Theros or wherever. Case in point, Bolas killing and enslaving the Amonkhet gods. Also, …

Reason #8,226: This one’s certainly big enough.

Just based on the scale there. People-sized houses up to its knees. Not sure how well the leech would do trying to suck blood out of it. And in any case, it’s the wrong plane; this fellow is from Theros, so I guess we’ll have to continue the search for the sake of our leech …

Reason #4,110: Speaking of Kroxa…

We haven’t met Kroxa yet, have we? This is Kroxa. He’s from the plane of Theros. This is another plane that I don’t want to visit. I don’t want to visit it, because Kroxa lives there. I’m pretty sure he wants to eat me. He probably wants to eat everybody. And everything. That’s kind of …

Reason #4,109: What do they even do at this temple?

I can kind of imagine what goes on at the Temple of Malice, and I’m confident it’s not good and I want no part of it. The Temple of Deceit is…what? A gathering place for sleazy car salesmen? A giant escape room? (I might be down with that last one.) Maybe they secretly host surprise …

Reason #3,971: His blood is on fire

Why is this person’s blood on fire? I mean, crud, that looks like lava or something. So this Purphoros, he’s a god of the plane of Theros. As a side-note, the ‘gods’ of the MTG Multiverse typically aren’t planeswalkers. What does that tell you about the quality of ‘gods’ in the MTG Multiverse? Weaker than …

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