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Reason #7,110: Smallpox

According to the WHO, roughly 3 in 10 people who contracted smallpox died from it. Those who survived often experienced significant lasting effects, such as scarring or blindness. In 1798, Edward Jenner developed an inoculation technique for treating smallpox; estimates suggest there were still some 50 million cases annually every year on a global basis …

Reason #8,332: Clean your tools

Why do its scars cut deeper than its blade? Because it’s rusty. If you cut yourself on this, you’ll probably get tetanus or something. Also, this thing looks like it could just snap off at any time. Get your shots. Take care of your equipment.

Reason #2,299: Where do these things come from?

This is not normal. Just a bunch of junk, walking around, doing…what? You can’t keep something like this around, people. You’re not going to use it as, say, a school crossing guard. Some kid’s gonna get impaled with all the random sharp things poking out. And the rust? Make sure you have your tetanus shots, …

Reason #3,049: That looks like more than an allergy

“Allergies” I don’t think tend to melt the flesh off your bones. Or create spiky…protrusions…or something? Man, I don’t know what’s going on here. Probably too late to go see a doctor. Vaccinate your kids. Vaccinate your pets. Vaccinate yourselves.