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Reason #2,738: I don’t think that porcelain would make for the sturdiest armor.

Wait what? Dude. How did we get from porcelain to the flesh of heretics? I know I should not be shocked by these kinds of things at this point, but I genuinely did a double-take when I read the flavor text on this one. Also, probably not gonna be much more effective than porcelain. As …

Reason #4,821: Shall we play a game?

I’m getting a “War Games” vibe here. Toppling kingdoms, you say? Do you mean literal kingdoms? What kind of game are we talking about here? I want to read the fine print before I sign up for this. Or maybe I’ll just pass. It’s fine.

Reason #1,372: That’s a lot of bones

Another card with an extensive history in Magic, Wall of Bone has ten different printings. And looking at this wall, I gotta ask, “Where did they get all those bones?” Grave robbing? Some of those bones look huge. Whose grave did they rob? I don’t know about this idea, guys. Here’s another version of the …