Reason #7,544: Stop it with the souls!

When I said to stop making walls out of souls, that wasn’t an invitation to go use them to make something else. Can’t we just leave the souls alone? Let them be souls. Don’t displace them, or reave them, or torment them, or use them to build furniture or cooking implements. If they’re dead, don’t …

Reason #1,374: Souls. Lots of souls

This Starke character seems to have just punted on the bones all together. I’m a little fuzzy on my Tempest lore (and a little too lazy to go looking it up), but I think Starke was a traitor himself. To Gerrard? Whatever happened to building walls out of normal stuff like brick or stone or …

Reason #1,373: Where did they get all those corpses? Ew…

Oh man. I mean, I know people resort to pretty brutal things in times of war, and that in itself is horrible enough. But this is gross and probably unsanitary. And this Kaervek sounds like he did this on purpose. And if we’re being sticklers here, I definitely see some wood in that wall too. …

Reason #1,372: That’s a lot of bones

Another card with an extensive history in Magic, Wall of Bone has ten different printings. And looking at this wall, I gotta ask, “Where did they get all those bones?” Grave robbing? Some of those bones look huge. Whose grave did they rob? I don’t know about this idea, guys. Here’s another version of the …

Reason #1,371: That’s a lot of swords

This card has appeared in twelve different MTG sets, so I think it’s safe to say that sword walls aren’t just one-offs in the MTG Multiverse. Aside from the fact that these aren’t exactly rarities, I think their existence raises a rather obvious and disturbing question, namely: Why exactly did the builders of the Wall …

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