Reason #4,986: Two words I’d rather not see together

‘Reckless’ and ‘fire.’ Does anyone actually think this is a good combination? Does anyone actually think the outcome here is going to be positive and constructive? You’re digging your own grave, MTG Multiverse. Just sayin’.

Reason #5,270: Maybe we should check in on Zendikar.

After all, there’s a new expansion coming out on the plane of Zendikar. Couldn’t hurt to see what’s new on that plane, right? Let’s take a look. Oh! Oh my! What is that, and what’s it doing to his head? Nope. Nope. Not this plane. Taking the first train out of here.

Reason #873: Did you catch all that?

Right. So. The promised paradise beyond the gates to the afterlife is actually just more barren desert full of monsters. The scorpion god killed Rhonas, Kefnet, and Oketra. All the gods are actually related, so we’re getting some hard-core fratricide and sororicide going on here. We had a locus god bring a swarm of locusts …

Reason #865: The Locust God

And…here’s another bug god. That last one went…well, not good, if we’re being honest. And who doesn’t like locusts? They come in swarms. They eat everything in sight. What could go wrong? Locusts. There could be a whole swarm of locusts.

Reason #855: Zeal is fine. Really.

Hazoret, the jackal headed god of zeal. Things that have never caused problems when left unchecked: zeal, ambition. And knowledge, come to think of it. It’s fine though; we still have Oketra and her order. She’ll keep everyone in line. It’s going to be fine. Trust me.

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