Reason #624: The cage we built with our own hands

Our literal hands. I can’t help feeling like the MTG Multiverse would be so much better if everyone just used metaphors a little more liberally. Why do we need a cage made of hands? This card is just legit weird. Crud. I feel like I should just rip into this one pretty hard, but…I don’t …

Reason #48: Kaldheim

Kaldheim is a new plane entering the MTG Multiverse. Kaldheim is a plane of vikings. Now, I know everyone loves vikings, or at least the idea of vikings. Or least the idea of what they think vikings are. You’re a smart person; I’m sure you know that the way vikings are represented in popular culture …

Reason #2,441: Painful, messy blood of the gods

So according to Greek mythology, ichor is the blood of the gods. So what exactly is going on here? Is this elephant some sort of god? In which case, this god just exploded. Yikes. Or, if the elephant isn’t a god, then…what? Did he just get hit by an ichor water-balloon? That seems like a …

Reason #3,049: That looks like more than an allergy

“Allergies” I don’t think tend to melt the flesh off your bones. Or create spiky…protrusions…or something? Man, I don’t know what’s going on here. Probably too late to go see a doctor. Vaccinate your kids. Vaccinate your pets. Vaccinate yourselves.

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