zombies – Page 5 – 10,000 Reasons Why the MTG Multiverse is a Terrible Place to Live

Reason #1,376: If these walls could speak

But they can’t speak. That would be the wall of mouths. What is with planeswalkers and this fetish for making walls out of things walls should not be made out of?

Reason #7,704: As if normal zombies weren’t bad enough

Now we have zombie dinosaurs. From what I gather from the lore, dinosaurs have so far only appeared on the planes of Ixalan and Dominaria. So congratulations, Innistrad! You dodged a bullet there.

Reason #9,194: I don’t think she understands the job description

Wasn’t I just talking about raising the dead, and why it’s a bad idea? And isn’t it your job to make sure this doesn’t happen, anyway? An undertaker puts the dead in the ground; she doesn’t take them out of it! Stop it!

Reason #9,193: Cages probably wouldn’t help in this case…

I doubt that an iron cage would prove much of an obstacle for someone who can do this. As an aside though, you probably wouldn’t have nearly as many problems with zombies if you’d just leave the dead alone. Stop bringing them back from the grave! Do you think maybe this kind of thing could …

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Reason 9,192: On Innistrad, you need cages for your coffins

Because on Innistrad, they have a zombie problem. And they put the cages around the coffins, so that when the zombies wake up, they can’t get out. Note, that’s a when, not if. On Innistrad, they will wake up eventually. Maybe this is a dumb question, but why not just make the actual coffins out …

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Reason #787: Your city just got ransacked

“Why is the brutality so widespread?” you ask. Well, that’s because a zombie army just invaded the city of Ravnica. That zombie in the background is setting that house on fire. War generally has a highly negative impact on property values. It also has a highly positive impact on mortality rates. Move to Ravnica. Lose …

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